‘I’m 43 and just married my much younger husband. It’s made me worried about ageing.’ – Mamamia

Id heard that your experience of menopause is often similar to your mothers, but my mum had already had a hysterectomy by my age. Shed been placed on the old form of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and then slipped quietly into post-menopause.

I didnt even notice, she said. Would that be my experience too?

I opened the book and couldnt put it down. I read it in three days, and the more I read, the more excited I got. I looked up every site the book recommended. I joined three perimenopause and menopause Facebook groups. I watched TED Talks. I was hooked.

Listen to The Quicky's episode on menopause. Post continues after podcast.

I talked with dozens of women and devoured their stories, the good ones and the awful ones. I wanted to hear about every symptom, every stage, every treatment. I learned about the new Menopausal Hormone Therapy (MHT) and looked up specialists to readtheir recommendations. I found podcasts and blogs and more books.

It felt like being let in on a secret - one I no longer found scary, but empowering. I brought up menopause with every single person I met: the hairdresser, friends at a barbecue, my sisters, my chiropractor, my doctor. Did other people know what I knew?I had to find out.

My husband listened attentively to way more than he probably cared to hear.

I wanted to make sure everyone had heard about perimenopause because to me, and many of the women I interviewed, it had been such a mystery.

The chiropractor and the doctor had only briefly heard about it in their training.

Ive always felt like I was missing something with my women patients. Like I was treating disconnected symptoms I knew were somehow connected, the chiropractor said.

The doctor, a young man who was trained within the last decade, said theyre taught almost nothing about menopause at medical school, unless theyre specifically interested in the topic. Nothing at all about perimenopause.

Its strange how little were told, considering its not rare, he said. Half the population will go through it.

I told my husband what hed said.

Well, its not a very sexy topic, he replied.

I stared at him. Seriously? Dont judge him too harshly here. I didnt. My husband is usually a smart manand this topic is new for him too. I decided to hold my tongue.

Bowel cancer isnt sexy and they learn about that.

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'I'm 43 and just married my much younger husband. It's made me worried about ageing.' - Mamamia